White Desert

Wrapped in a silky cocoon made of galaxies, love, seas, poetry, and chaos.

I fear silly things, and I am a courageous warrior on the frightening ones.

Am I too scared to feel the desperation of missing your voice once again?

I shut down the sun, follow the wind, hide my tears and run as fast as I can.

I don't want to realize that each hour I spend with any other living being

is not even close to the happiness of a second with you, that's not true, no.

I don't even remember anymore how it was to be together, me and you, us.

There has never been an us, and it has always been an us, our contradictions.

This gentle and tender winter will not end, the snow falls from this grey sky,

flakes turns all into dust, hiding me, the city has become a white desert now.

1st of March 2018, Bologna

Don't make me hate you

No more nights will shallow us from today

as an us doesn't exist any longer by now.

It is not only your feelings that dissipate

you bury my whole existence with them.

Stop following me in this dreamy factory,

while building with words a future of hope.

Your prose brings me into our writing farm,

a place where the lost creativity resides for me.

Why you keep on egoistically chasing me

by drawing again what I try again to erase?

I desperately escape from this new pain

that unfortunately has taken your name.

“We love whom we love” that's how it is,

while separate, we will be lost in the road.

You fed it while letting the Ginkgo's leafs sprout.

I have never choose alone to love you this way.

25th December 2017, Prague

Kismet

Let's play chess, I will let you win

while Asian herbs color the water

in a white empty smoky cup,

with the scent of a green milky Oolong

from the temples of China in a Czech pub.

The will loses the already booked plan,

possibilities are cancelled, then I am here stuck.

I sit confused, emotions end in my mouth,

they taste of Zacapa and chocolate,

no flowery drops will save me from tears.

How do I get rid of these mosquitos

biting me from the inside?

There is no magic antidote

to make them disappear, to be less alive.

Let me cut the tail of the snok

that eats itself for a thousand life's.

The present asks me to deconstruct

that one that was me too many times.

Could you please rip out my skin,

so nobody will caress it anymore?

Or maybe just hug me and scratch my head

so I will forget who we are now.

I will pretend to be some cool girl with a black hat,

becoming a sexy Spanish speaker you never met.

We hang out in the touristic area,

listen to pretentious reggae jazz,

enjoy real freedom and true friendships.

What is hidden in the words that The Messengers

dressed like men are delivering to me?

It seems like I fail to be,

I show up at the wrong moments,

late or early I am always out of time.

I cannot stand the same repeated

old story of this karma of mine.

I am fighting a battle within Empires,

alone, with no enemy or allies.

Chest lies under soft white skin

or in an appealing jeans t-shirt

yelling my name, I lose myself,

I cry on you like a spoiled child

that needs the looks of your eyes.

Caring fingers touching me

are drawing a map made of invisible scars,

building clueless roads that the lost self

follows to find it's half again.

The spirit of my nowhere

to be found has break in pieces,

He lies in many bodies

but is sleeping,

may I wait him till the next time we die?

I don't get inspired by flirting in a bar,

at some unreal fancy café's,

is just a boring game

that covers the deep reality

pushing shadows away.

I see the aura's of the vibrant bodies,

then we bound with someone's present,

those shaking bones

are made of intense dreams and nightmares,

they vibrate making fulfilling sounds.

I write down my definition for love

which doesn't fit with any convention,

therefore, I am isolated from the role playing.

I am not scared of intensity

instead, is exactly what I look for,

rawness of the Ego

that shows off all its sides, proud and shame.

My third eye shines with desire

for the insanity of those that aren't blind,

for the dancing souls that raise up

the independence of themselves

while being careless about the rest.

You told me I believe people

are not as deep as me,

but that's not true,

I am aware that everyone is.

Although their silences

are not brave enough

to face the pleasure

and the pain turned

into transparent words.

My soul is back due to a pen,

ten destroyed papers on a desk,

now a fresh romance

will come free from definitions

with a silly smile.

Find me in the shape of my walk,

the day you will see me

I will be awake, and we will know

it's us one more time.

21st of November 2017, Prague